You may have trust issues if...

You may have trust issues if... Here are some scenarios...if you answer yes to these "hypothetical" situation then you may have trust issues...

1) Do you find yourself skeptical of every single thing in your life?

2) Are you constantly worried your boyfriend is going to dump you or cheat on you?

3) If you answered yes to the previous question to find yourself wanting to cut and run out of a romantic situation... a pre-emetic strike?

4) Are you unable to date anyone on a serious level due to your inability to trust anything at all?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions you may have trust issues.  Common symptoms can be as follows: a string of failed relationships, no serious relationships at all or self sabotaging.  If you suffer from these symptoms please take a look in the mirror and SNAP THE HELL OUT OF IT.
If symptoms continue call your therapist (I know you have one) then head down to your local shelter and adopt as many cats as your finances allow.  Prepare for the fact you will without a doubt become a crazy cat lady.

So to me this is the meat and potatoes of those "daddy issues".  I don't think you can get a more stereotypical issue than the "trust issue".  For those of us girls who start their world of trusting men with a non-existent father (side bar: this could be physically or emotionally-either way non-existent) this pretty much lays the base for us... and by base I mean completely unstable mushy could crumble at anytime "base".   So here we are in our all grown up supposed to be trusting these guys that want to date us and THAT is our base... talk about an unfair chance. 

Self Sabotage : My ABSOLUTE favorite of these issues.  Oh by favorite I mean this is my "go to" move if you will. 
 So let me paint you a little picture: Here is me, dating a seemingly perfect guy, a guy other girls would say "one day I want to marry a guy like that"... then there is me, for whatever reason sees this perfect situation and starts to find reasons to get the hell out of it.  "Ya he is super sweet and has a good job and seems to really like me... but he breathes funny in his sleep... so I don't think this can work out." "He brought 85 dozen roses, hid them all over my apartment isn't that the sweetest... unfortunately I dumped him days later on his 25th birthday" (sidebar: that actually happened. SELF SABOTAGE).  The question begs, why do we self sabotage when things seem "perfect"?
Here is my best guess... being a victim of these "trust issues" I think it just boils down to we genuinely can't trust it.  We can't trust the rug won't be pulled out from under us.  We are queens of the saying "too good to be true".  Like I said before self sabotage is my FAVORITE sub issue because it starts the domino effect... once you start self sabotaging your first instinct is to cut and run before THEY have the chance to pull the rug out from under you... so you cut and run... run right into the arms (sidebar: we all know when I say arms, I mean bed) of a, for a lack of a better word, asshole... who without a doubt will string you along while you pine over the day he will commit to you.  (Sidebar: find it odd you want the asshole to treat you like the nice guy, but once he is the nice guy you don't trust it and bolt? hmmm...) 

So next time you are sitting next to the nice guy who "eats his popcorn in an annoying way" or you are sitting by your phone waiting for the asshole you hooked up with last weekend to call... maybe just take a little step back and trace back to where that self sabotaging happened.  You can make it a fun little dysfunctional game.  You'll have a blast I swear.

So why do we do what we do...

I am going to preface this post with some background information about me: I share this background with everyone so you as the reader can humanize the author of this blog.  I am a 26 year woman dealing with these issues on a day to day basis like everyone else.  I use sarcasm and humor to deal with almost every situation in my life. So through these posts I hope everyone remembers my number one defense mechanism is SARCASM.  Yes I said defense mechanism... when you are sarcastic on a regular basis no one can tell when you are being serious...ergo no one can get that close unless they break past that "tough" outer shell.  So lets recap: 26 years old, lack of father growing up, uses sarcasm to adhere people from getting close... ya that sums it up. So the main point NO FATHER GROWING UP.  My family was and still is beyond supportive.  My mother did everything she could to ensure I didn't need that father figure that was lacking in my life.  And for the most part she succeeded.  However; with all the work she did I still couldn't escape those "daddy issues".  Now there are a lot of details of my childhood I will spare to save the feelings of some reading this... but I will just say dysfunction has a way of latching onto even those who try hard to fight against it.  So there was the lack of biological father, insert a step father who I wish took tips from actual father and skipped out early on... however he was around for a couple years.  You know, just long enough to further those trust issues I already had.  Thanks for that.  So yada yada yada... now we can skip to my adult life.  I am now 26 and I had my first boyfriend at 15... so that is a solid 11 years of hilarious, romantic ridiculousness to keep you fine people entertained with.  And on this final bit of my background I will leave a prime example what those "daddy issues" do to a young girl... As I said my first boyfriend was at 15...not abnormal... however my first boyfriend was 22. Yes a 15 year old dating a 22 year old... could you get anymore textbook daddy issues... Alright enough about my background. 
So why do we do what we do...
Many studies, psychologists, scientists etc.. say with the lack of that father figure in a female's life the females can develop a certain need for that male attention.  They look to older men to give them that attention that their father didn't.  And in many cases not even older men, just men in general.  (Side bar: I only know the point of view of not having a father in my life, many females had their fathers in their life the whole time however their father was cold or distant and can result in the same kind of issues).  So did I mention I dated a 22 year old when I was 15... ya.. case in point.  I am a pretty smart girl, I look at things from a mature view for the most part... however I thought at 15 dating someone 7 years older was a stand up idea.  Many young girls who "crave" that male attention do things like this without realizing why they are doing it.  (Side bar: I kept this from my mother for those who are wondering how a mother of a 15 year old could let her date a 22 year old...simple... she didn't know).  So that is what started my dating life.  Great huh... Hey dads before you skip out on your daughter just picture that little girl being 15 and dating a 22 year old... because I'll bet money it will happen.  Fingers crossed it doesn't result in a pregnancy (side bar: mine DID NOT). Now this blog wouldn't be very interesting if I divulged all my relationships all at once...so don't worry the rest will come later.  Now back to this "daddy issue"... we crave attention from guys who are A)not deserving B)not interested and make us work for their affections or C)drunk and standing relatively close to us in a bar. (Side bar: stereotype for girls with "daddy issues" is sleeping around).  So you see when our dads skip out it then makes us girls crave that male attention... it happens without us realizing.  I had NO NEED for a dad growing up and there I was, fifteen and craving this attention from this older man.  So this is why we do what we do.  Now here is the silver lining ladies: the older I got the less I "craved" that attention from men.  In fact... unfortunately I went the other direction and had no need for men in my life at all.  Yes I had boyfriends but they were merely lawn furniture in my life... I had no real need for them, sure its convenient to...um sit on them... sounds bad... but I had no real need for them either way.  I did grow out of that stage as well... there are a lot of stages.  So this hopefully is a little more insight into why I think we do what we do...

So why is this happening...

Being a product of divorce is not a joking matter... well it is if you are me.  As a female when our father is non-existent we acquire what is commonly known as "daddy issues".   This of course is not the scientific term, (many say the scientific term for these "daddy's issues" is known as Electra Complex) but when guys hear "daddy issues" they either get excited for a girl who will undoubtedly put out or they get scared at the possibility of a stage 5 clinger.  Now you see there is a reason these stereotypes have come about...mostly because they are true.  I personally, seeing as I am girl with "daddy issues" take more of the "cut and run before things go bad" approach. Wait... I'm getting ahead of myself... we will delve more into that later on.  This post is just explaining why this blog is being written.  So back to my original point. Girls-fathers= dysfunction.  Even those of us who are "well adjusted" from the past still have those "daddy issues" creep up on us from time to time.  So why is this happening... well it is my hopes to write experiences, crazy moments, a general reference guide for us girls who feel crazy because of whatever issue decides to rear it's ugly head that day.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Girls are crazy, we can't help it for whatever reason, our craziness varies depending on the reasoning behind it, but by all accounts we are nuts.  We can only hide it for so long, but it will come out eventually.  So for me making fun and light of not having a father growing up and the relationships it has interfered with, is a perfect way to adjust.  So weekly posts about my wacky, romantically stunted life will hopefully put more females at ease knowing we are all a little dysfunctional... just hang in there and hope you get better and better at hiding it.